Sheer Brilliance!

Seeing a trailer for an Al Pachino movie:

Beth: "Wow, Al Pachino! He's the dictator of Cuba, right???"
Breanne: "Um...are you serious? Wow. You mean Fidel Castro."
Beth: "Right. Wow, I'm dumb."
Breanne: "Wow. You're amazing. Al Pachino...Castro!"

Why Not Just Do That To MEEEE?????????

Since I can not give you the finger at the moment and yell other obscenities at you because Mom motioned for me not to, I am going to vent here on this screen. Damn you and your abusiveness. Abusing my dog is the same as abusing me. Why not ban me from upstairs for no reason? Why not threaten to euthanize me or send me back to the pound or drag me behind the car? Wouldn't that be fun? I know you want to! Why not snap and do it already? You wonder why the hell I don't like you or why you scare the hell out of me, but really, do you hear yourself??? If you ever listened to how you sound or what you say, I doubt you'd be confused. I guess I'll have to find somewhere else to shower, somewhere else to store or cook food, somewhere else to do anything, because God forbid I step on your toes or piss on your shoes. How about you do me a favor: don't talk to me, don't knock on my door to yell at me about how I've ruined your life, and don't feel obligated to do do anything else for me, including taking me in to see any type of whitecoat, even the one who doesn't even wear a coat - she's more of a sweats and t-shirt kinda gal. How about you just pretend you've already euthanized me so you don't have to worry about me messing anything up anymore.

Yes, I'm more than a little pissed, but I have every right to be. You're stupid. Selfish. Male. All reasons to be pissed at you.

T is for Tantrix...

Oh yeah, I love being 18, if you know what I mean...so much more freedom to do certain things...Like, oh, I dunno...stuff.

Personally, I found the whole experience to be pretty relaxing. It was a nice buzz. I could have fallen asleep right there...The girl was great. Jenn is jealous, but hers comes in a month. Then we'll go again and she can get hers and we'll have another great night out together and it'll blow my mind. Dessert was Starbucks, always satisfying, especially when they forget your order and they make you a venti caramel frappuccino. Mmmm. However, Starbucks didn't compare to the other wicked awesome thing we did. Oh, so unforgettable, which is understandable, 'cause it is, you know, a little bit permanent. :)

Hey, you guys this is a first, NO SWEARING. I must be under the weather. Or no, actually it's probably because Jenn and I had a great time in her car - hey, it's not our fault, there were a bunch of stupid drivers out tonight who needed a talkin' to. Plus, it's fun, I'm not gonna lie.

OOOONNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Oh yes! I wanted to shout just like Janelle in the beautiful language that is binary, but instead I did a happy dance (a scary mental image, I realize) and reveled in the fact that in about a month and a half I'd be shouting something else: JOOOOOOOHHHHHHHNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I'M SEEING JOOOOHHHHHNNNNN MAAAAAAYYYYYYEEEERRRRR!!!! (I am inclined to say it in slow motion and in a shrieking voice. I have to. It's required under law) Oh yeah, I get to see, in the flesh, the man God spent a little extra time on in the HOT AND PLAYS GUITAR area. You did good, God! I think he must have made John Mayer and Brandon Flowers in the same day, because seriously, how else could He have struck complete perfection twice in a row??? Exactly. I have a ridiculously stupid happy face on right now, but oddly enough, I don't feel the usual need to kick my own ass at such a display of excessive perkiness. Mmmmm. April 26th in Winnipeg is the day I can die a happy woman. Rachel's gonna come too, so it'll be a good time. Except that, you know, she'll have to miss out if John flirts with her because she's a married woman. I, however, am painfully single, so BRING IT ON!

I think that looking forward to my sweet ass trip to Winnipeg will greatly reduce my level of "Oh NOOOO!" that occurs from day to day. It's easier - and funnier - to look at my mom and go "OH NOOOO!" than to explain, at length, the feeling of losing my mind. Frequent anxiety and full-blown panic attacks are generally unfunny, so I might as well lighten the mood while trying to chill out myself. Now, instead of "OH N0000!" it'll (hopefully) go more like this: "Oh N- oh JOHN!" and then I'm hoping that I won't freak out. Sounds like a dreamy and incredibly good-looking plan. And, by the time I take my trip, I should be a little more under control, and might actually for the first time avoid having a lovely anxiety/panic attack on a bus full of strangers. Always fun! Yup, I should be cool as a freakin' cucumber and I can think of JOHN MAYER instead. Mmmmm....(smiles). Oh man, soooo excited. And I get to see my nephew and hang out with (the good side of) my family. Ha ha. Seriously though. They are too cool to live in Dalmeny, so that alone should speak of their awesomeness and sanity.

Ah, Rachel and Nick and Luke and me and JOHN MAYER!

I Do Not Like It When My Heart Kicks My Ass

I am a little tired of this part of the story. I can deal with most other aspects of it all, but this part I do tire of from time to time, mostly because it is grossly inconvenient. Sure, it does give a little (or big) kick and reminds me "HEY! You're still alive!" but I do not like it when my heart kicks my ass. And, I do not particularly enjoy the company of cold hands sticking me with sticky stickers that are connected to wires connected to a machine that is supposed to reveal my secrets. I don't like to be touched and I don't like to be stuck with electrodes or whatever they are. Plus sometimes they don't like to come off and it's like pulling a band-aid. What fun! Also, why must they do tests that don't really mean anything? If they'd ask I would tell them all they need to know! It's really not that complicated. Mind you, I do not have their medical degree, but really, it can't be that bad. What is a little "heart tracing" going to reveal? A big fat nothing. NOTHING. I'll bet you 10 bucks that this is a waste of time. I'm interested in what else they have to say, but as far as those dumb electrodes and bloodwork go, I'm not worried. That's another thing - I hate bloodwork. It's dumb. They poke me and they poke me and they poke me and they get nothing. The nurse popped the needle into a finally-found vein and no blood came out. NO BLOOD CAME OUT. Weird. "Other arm please," she said. Poke, poke, poke, poke and nope...back to the other arm...nope. Back and forth, back and forth, "make a fist!" She calls someone in and they poke poke poke. They press down hard after they're done and I still bruise. I can tell them something: they won't find anything in those vials. They never do. I don't know why they keep doing it. I mean, yes, I technically know why they do it, but seriously...It'll be fine. I realize I'm ranting but at this point do not really care. I know that the doc with the nice shoes is good, but what's with the testing? At least I've got the needle part out of the way. Blah....oh well, at least I can get some coffee afterward with one of my favorite people in the entire world and perhaps do a little shopping. I love people who are not male and who don't suck! Woo!

Ha ha Teri, I wigged out again for a second and asked that question that made you laugh... you know what I'm talkin' about!