Argh.

I wish I could fully hate you. It pisses me off that you still have any effect on me. I hate that you get to me. I hate that in one fell swoop you can make me feel so much rage in so little space. You make me feel claustrophobic. You make my mouth go dry and it's hard to swallow. As much as I try to avoid you, as much as I try to harden, you always pop up, try to crack me. Why do you try so freaking hard? It's a lost battle. Please just leave me alone, because you seem to be the most oblivious person on earth when it comes to reading people. Your time is up, expired. You've missed the damn boat and I'm not about to turn it around for you. I will, however, happily wave goodbye from the back of the boat with a smile, a final fuck-you. Don't get me wrong - I hate you plenty. The way you smile, chew, walk, yell, slurp, have no idea how loud you are, talk, snore, think, act like a two-year old, never listen, think you're always right (even though you're a guy, so that automatically makes you incorrect most of the time), interrupt, start wars but claim no participation, never once have said you're sorry, shoot down anything that is not of your invention - just to name a few. I hate that you blame me, berate me, see me as something you wish you could erase because I remind you of someone else you hate. I hate how you try to make me choose sides, when I'm too tired and don't want anyone to fight. Why do you continue to believe that everything falls on me? How can I possibly be the cause of all your problems? I'm not the singular symptom you need to medicate. You wonder where the hell I got to be so stubborn - it's not surprising that it comes from you... I think distance would be good between us. What is that saying about fences making the best neighbors? Something like that would be great. I guess that's what I've been attempting for quite a while - a fence, a wall, a boundary. But no wonder you won't leave me alone - you've never been one for boundaries. It's crazy because you have no sense of boundary, and you can be both completely checked-out and invasive at the same time. You have skills.